Children often ask, “Is G-d an old man with a white beard who lives in the sky?” What should a parent say to a three- or four-year-old who asks this question? How do we convey the truth of G-d’s existence in a way a child can understand?
RABBI ESTHER ADLER / Mount Zion Temple
“When my daughter was four years old she informed me that G-d doesn’t love her. Trying not to show how devastated I was, I asked why she thought so. She answered that if G-d loved her, her daddy and I wouldn’t be getting divorced.
This led to a more general conversation about G-d, and I assured her that G-d loves each and every one of us — even when it seems like bad things are happening — and that G-d lives inside of us.
“SEE?!” she responded, suggesting that I had just proved her right. “See?! G-d is big inside of you and just little inside of me, so God loves you more!” The logic of a four-year-old trumps the theology of a rabbi.
Another time, she asked me if G-d has a mommy. To that one I delved deep and answered, “What do you think?”
There are no easy answers to the deep questions our children ask. Small children are concrete thinkers and, of course, G-d is anything but concrete. I think the best we can do is respond honestly and with integrity about our own beliefs, and assure our children that there are many different ways people believe in G-d.
After all, the midrash tells us that at Mount Sinai each person heard G-d’s voice a little differently, in a way he or she could best understand. More often than not, it is the children who teach us about the truth of G-d’s existence, rather than the other way around.
You can find some good ideas and a reading list on the subject at:Â judaism.about.com/od/jewishfamilyfun/a/kids. Good luck!!
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RABBI LILLY KAUFMAN / Director of Jewish Learning, Adath Jeshurun Congregation, Minnetonka
“God is far, far away like a king in his palace or a queen on her throne, and God is as near as your ear when I whisper I love you.”
A prayer called Ashrei tells us this, in the lines that start with “Mem” and “Kuf.” Would you like to sing them with me? God is sometimes called HaMakom in Hebrew. This means “the place.” Isn’t that a strange name? It’s like saying God is called by an address! A smart rabbi named Malbim said God is the home of all souls. Can you imagine a place that has nothing but souls in it?
What is a soul? It’s the invisible part of you that knows God! Some souls are really big and generous and loving — bigger even than their bodies — and some souls are scrunched up and nasty. Show me how big your soul is!
Your soul, says Malbim, goes home to God after your body is finished with its life in the world. I think it’s also where souls are born. God sends them to the earth to be put into babies, and God welcomes them home when they are finished doing their good job on earth. I think God is the most gigantic, invisible soul there is.
In God’s place, prayers from people float in the air, meet up with dreams and say hello. In God’s place, good deeds are collected for all to see. What colors do you think God’s place might be?
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Do you have questions about Judaism and Jewish living? Members of the Minnesota Rabbinical Assoication (MRA) are ready to answer your questions. “Your Jewish questions” is compiled by Rabbi Jonathan Perlman. Have a question for the rabbis? Write Rabbi Perlman at: perlmanrav@gmail.com.
